“One of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once blood and water came out.
(He who saw this has testified so that you also may believe).”
(John 19:34-35)
“Oh blood and water, which gushed forth from the heart of Jesus as a fount of mercy for us,
I trust in You!
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.”
(Divine Mercy 3 o’clock prayer)
“O tidings of sorrow and joy, O tidings of sorrow and joy.”
(God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen tweaked)
See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?
(Isaac Watts, When I Survey the Wondrous Cross)
“Joy and Sorrow flow mingled down”
This morning, Eden asked me if I had a “word for 2025,” by which she literally means a single word describing what we anticipate or how we intend to live. It’s a tradition that our friend Dwight introduced to us about 20 years ago. It’s not meant as a prophetic pronouncement. The ‘word of the year’ is more like an orientation we feel invited to inhabit.
I usually go with whatever Dwight or Eden suggests because their spiritual ears are much better tuned than mine. And anyway, my complex temperament is a curious blend of the dour and the whimsical, perpetually shaken, not stirred. In fact, the first thought that came to me was that line from the old hymn: “Sorrow and love flow, mingled down.” It’s a poetic description of the blood and water that flowed from the spear wound on Jesus’ side. Then right away, I thought, Yes, that describes 2024. And being sixty. And being human. And therefore 2025.
It’s true… at my age, every single day offers a deep well of experiences that warrant celebration or grief, joy or sorrow, living water or coagulating blood. I think we’re meant to experience both and refuse to let one negate or truncate the other. When Jesus said, “I have come that you might have life and that to the full,” I discovered that “to the full” doesn’t mean “happy all the time.” He seems to be offering us the fullness of life that includes tears of laughter and tears of sadness because that’s what life and love entail—what death and resurrection involve. In our refusal to turn from love, we will experience “unspeakable joy” (1 Peter 1:8) and unbearable distress (2 Cor. 1:3-11)… tidings of sorrow and joy within our families and across the world… life and love to the full. This is what it is to “survey the wondrous Cross” of a cruciform King and to experience a co-suffering life.
Eden and I have co-suffered grief over a beloved family member who passed away over Christmas… and we co-rejoiced in the lively prenatal kicks of our third, soon-coming grandchild. Both/and. The labor pains of our departed loved one’s rebirth to the next life felt bitter, but the love we saw and felt through that experience was at least bittersweet. Tears. Connection. Holding and hugging, belonging and beholding.
“With”
How do we manage the daily overwhelming flood of joys and sorrows? I think Eden heard the ‘how’ in her word of the year.
In case you’re curious, her word for 2025 is a loaded preposition: “WITH.” So many layers!
- Emmanuel: God with us.
- Communion: to stay deeply connected with God, with each other, and with the other.
- Presence: to stay present to ourselves and our feelings as we experience the mingled joy and sorrow that 2025 offers.
In the recovery world, we call that ‘acceptance’ or ‘meeting life on life’s terms,’ knowing that ‘we are always in the care of a loving God.’
I know there’s no avoiding the joy and sorrow coming again this year. I wouldn’t wish avoidance on anyone. But I can offer each of you a blessing of ‘withness’—God, grant your ever-present with-ness to our awareness in each moment. Nourish our practice of gratitude and contentment in the face of hard things. And grant us continual access to the “light that shines in the darkness” that is your infinite love.
New Year fullness, beloved!
Bradley
